One of the things I’m grateful for about Randy is that he makes my lunches for work. He’s also the one who usually gets the kids ready for school while I get ready for work. Those things make a real difference to my morning. I can concentrate on getting myself ready, knowing he’s taking care of what the kids need before they head out.
He gets groceries, does all the cooking, and bakes. He keeps track of bills and takes care of things with the vehicles. He gets the kids to youth, work, and appointments. I could make a long list, but what I really want to tell you is what it means to me to have someone paying attention to the same family I’m paying attention to.
To understand what our days look like, it helps to know a little more about Randy. He has been living with multiple sclerosis, or MS, since 2007, and he lives in constant pain because of it. In December 2025, he had foot surgery to help with some of the issues he was having. He worked as a paramedic for more than twenty years and was also a firefighter until 2007. He is currently on long-term disability.
His days at home are full. He does a lot of the cleaning and washes the younger two kids’ laundry. Our oldest three do their own. Sometimes he does our laundry too, if I haven’t gotten to it yet. In the summer he cares for the lawn, and in the winter he clears snow. He handles repairs around our house and sometimes helps with repairs at friends’ houses too. When the kids come home from school, he’s there.
He also leads the men’s ministry at our church. Part of his week is spent preparing sermons or getting ready for his weekly men’s Bible study. That preparation takes time and thought. When I think about how he leads, I think about both the things our family sees him do every day and the time he gives to preparing to teach and serve at church.
When I’m home sick, he has made homemade soup to help me feel better. That means a lot to me. There’s something tender about being the one who needs looking after and having my husband take the time to make something for me. In that moment, I can rest and let him care for me. I’m grateful for the kindness behind it and for the thought he puts into helping me feel better.
And he never complains. He’s always been like this. As I think about everything I’m sharing here, I’m describing the man I’ve come to know day after day. His care is something I’ve experienced consistently, and that has come to mean so much to me.
Knowing that Randy is in constant pain makes me appreciate his care even more. There’s a cost to what he does that someone looking at our family from the outside might never see. I want to be thoughtful about what I ask of him and attentive to what he needs too.
His health and his need for care matter to me every bit as much as the ways he cares for us. When I thank God for Randy, I want to remember to pray for him in the pain he lives with, and ask how I can care for him that day. He gives so much of himself to our family and our church. I want him to feel loved and looked after in the home we share.
What a godly husband looks like to me
When I think about what a godly husband looks like, I think about Randy. He leads us the way a godly husband would, with love, care, and a willingness to serve. I see it in the way he takes responsibility for our family and in his service at church. He sees things that need to be done and does them. Those choices tell me a great deal about the man I married.
I never had this before. That’s a hard sentence to write, because it holds more than I can explain in one post. But it’s part of why these ordinary things mean so much to me. I’m experiencing what it’s like to have a husband who leads our home with care, and I’m still learning how to receive that. Something that might seem routine to someone else can feel deeply personal to me. I’m getting used to being thought of and cared for in this way.
Ephesians 5:23 describes the husband as the head of his wife and connects that responsibility to Christ’s relationship with the church. A few verses later, Paul makes the call to husbands deeply personal.
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Ephesians 5:25 (ESV)
That verse asks a husband to give of himself for his wife’s good. It makes me think about the willingness it takes to put someone else’s needs into the decisions you make about your day. Randy takes responsibility for the life we share. I can see his concern for me in how he uses his time and in the things he takes care of without waiting for me to get to them.
In Ephesians 5:28–29, Paul goes on to describe a husband caring for his wife with the concern he gives his own body. He connects marriage with nourishing and cherishing. Those are words I want to take time with. There is something deeply tender about being cared for in the middle of an ordinary day, when someone has thought about what you need and taken the time to provide it.
First Peter 3:7 tells husbands to live with their wives “in an understanding way” (ESV). The verse also calls a husband to honour his wife and recognises that they share in the grace of life. That gives me a picture of leadership that involves paying attention to the person you married. It makes room for her needs and takes her well-being seriously. I feel that consideration when Randy notices I haven’t gotten to something and takes care of it.
Jesus teaches His disciples in Mark 10:43 that whoever wants to be great among them “must be your servant” (ESV). His teaching helps me understand why I see leadership in the things Randy does for our home. He is willing to give his time to the people God has placed in his care. My boys see him take responsibility, and they also see him serve. I’m grateful they get to learn from that example.
There’s a vulnerable part of receiving this kind of love when it’s new to you. You become aware of how much it means to have someone beside you who takes the family’s needs seriously. I can be thankful for Randy and still feel the weight of saying I haven’t known this before. Sometimes that awareness is tender. I’m grateful I can bring it to God and take the time to learn how to live in the marriage I have now.
What I notice as a mom
I notice it especially with my boys. He makes sure birthdays are celebrated and takes the time to teach them things they can use. There are plenty of jobs you could finish faster if you did them yourself. Teaching somebody takes longer. As their mom, I’m grateful he gives them that time and that he wants to invest in who they’re becoming.
When you marry someone and both of you bring children into the marriage, there’s a lot to learn about how the other person’s family has done things. You also get to learn the kids themselves. There’s what they need from you today, and then there’s what they might need a year from now when they’re older and doing more on their own. I get to see Randy get to know my boys in the middle of all of that. There’s something tender about watching someone care about the people you love, especially in ways you would have missed if you were only looking for the big moments.
I’ve raised my boys through enough different seasons that I’m used to thinking ahead for them. Who needs to be where? Is there enough time to get there after work? Is there something coming up that I’m going to wish I’d remembered sooner? Sometimes I can be in the middle of one task while I’m mentally working through three others. When Randy takes care of a ride or puts a meal together, I get a little room to finish what’s in front of me. On a full day, that can be the thing that makes it possible to sit down and actually pay attention to the people at the table.
Learning to let someone help
One of the harder things for me to admit is how quickly I can keep carrying something in my head even when somebody else has offered to carry it with me. I can say yes to the help and still run through the whole plan myself. I can ask whether something is taken care of and then ask again. There are times when the other person is perfectly capable of handling what they said they would handle and I’m the one who needs a minute to get used to leaving it with them.
Randy does all the cooking in our home. He takes care of preparing our meals, and I’m grateful for the time and effort he puts into feeding our family. Part of what I’m learning in marriage is how to receive that care and trust the responsibilities he’s taken on. I’ve spent so many years thinking ahead about what everyone needs that I can still find myself running through everything in my head. I’m getting used to sharing that responsibility with someone I can depend on.
I also know how easy it is to notice the one thing that still needs doing. I can see what’s left on the counter before I think about who has already cleaned the rest of the house. I can be grateful in a general way and still go a whole evening without saying thank you for anything specific. I want to get better at recognising what he’s done while we’re both there to talk about it.
Learning to care for each other
Galatians 6 talks about bearing one another’s burdens. When I think about that verse, I usually picture the times when something really hard happens and someone comes to help. I’m learning to see it in the way a family gets through an ordinary week too. The things on the calendar need doing whether everyone has the energy for them or not. Some weeks, one person has a little more to give. Some weeks, the best thing I can do is say what I need and let myself receive it with gratitude.
And there are ways I can pay closer attention to what Randy is carrying. He has things on his mind when he comes home too. I can ask him about his day and give him enough time to answer. I can notice when he’s got several things going at once and take care of something I know will help. I can thank God for my husband and ask Him to show me how to care for him well in the middle of the week we actually have.
I want to be careful when I talk about all the things Randy does, because I can hear myself turning this into a list of what he gets done in a week. There are days when both of us are tired and plenty of things are still waiting to be done. I want him to feel just as welcome at the table on those days. I love him, and I also want to be able to tell him how much good he’s done us in ways he might think are too ordinary to mention.
One thing I’m glad my boys get to see is how much care goes into being part of a family. I hope they remember the willingness it takes to notice a need and make time for someone. If they have families of their own one day, they’ll have their own responsibilities to work out. I’d love for them to remember how it felt to have someone show up for them and think about the ways they can do that for the people they love.
I’ve been thinking, too, about the difference between noticing something and saying it. I can write all of this down because I’ve made time to sit and think about it. I want to make room to tell Randy these things in the middle of our week too. I want him to hear what his care means to me and know that I’m thankful for the husband God has given me.
I’m still learning what it feels like to share a home with a husband who cares for us this way. After years of carrying so much, being able to depend on Randy means more to me than I can easily explain. Some days that realisation makes me emotional. I see my boys being cared for, I see the thought he puts into our life together, and I’m grateful to God that this is the marriage I get to experience now. There is still so much for us to learn together, but I look at the home we’re building and feel thankful that I get to be part of it.
